Dropping it all

It is late on a Friday night, but that doesn't matter when you have one of those important times in your life. For the last couple of months but more specifically in the last couple of weeks I've been stressing about different things in my life. Tonight I had a really good conversation with a friend and I came to a sudden realization that I'm talking and saying things but maybe not living them. I say that God is my number one priorty but I tend to keep things to myself, and to try to get them done in my own time. I needed to get back to where I let God deal with all those details in my life that are driving me nuts. It is only through God that I can find that peace that I'm looking for. The last few weeks I've been feeling this restlessness, and a need to get out and change things up a bit, and I'd even been contemplating doing things that I'd regret later. So in order to try and make myself feel better I was watching movies in my free time. This just worked to keep me occupied but did nothing. I still believe in action, becuase that is what being a Christian however what the specifics are I have no clue and I'm ok with that, because I know that whatever it is that he is there with, working out whatever is best. I know that God has something instore for me that is going to make it amazing, and all I have to do is to be willing to follow. God does not ask that I do anything amazing, except that I follow. Which at times I will admit is not easy because at times it feels like you are stepping out into thin air and there is nothing under there, but somehow it all works out. This isn't any pumped up over adrenaline ride that I'm on, but an honest to goodness following of God. I used to wonder why we didn't see miracles and God working and doing amazing things today, but when I was in Venezuela last summer I realized that if we just sit at home, going to our own services that aren't pushing us and all that, then we are limiting God and what he can do. I mean really now, why would God have in reason to do something amazing in my life if all I do is sit on the couch. God asks us to step out and it is then that he can do something amazing. That is why i could never understand all teh revival type exclamations of God's powere, because I mean really what purpose where they serving, besides some hyped up version of Christianiyt that passed and was like nothing the next day. That just wasn't good enough for me...the God I serve never does anything "just because" if he supplies me with an amazing spiritual gift then it is given when it is needed, and not because of some emotiont that I'm riding. I can understand that some people don't believe in God but in my life and the things that I went through last year, there is no doubt in my mind that God is real and alive out there. When I was in Venezuela I was in fear and afraid about what might happen...and I believe that God was the only thing that got me through. The God I serve is there through it all. I feel my life sometimes with so much noise that I can't hear him, but he is still there. I just wonder sometimes why I let myself get so caught up with everything that I can't take a step back and realize what the really important thing is out there in life? It has been a rough couple of weeks for a number of reasons, but I watched this video tonight and I realized that in all my tough times, that God was right there with me saying, "I love you so much and I know how to get out." all I had to to do was to listen. Life is cruel, and it gives out unfairly all that it can, however I know that through it all I have something greater there for me. All I have to do is accept it. Ok so sorry everyone for my ramblings but sometimes I have to say this stuff out loud because otherwise I'll forget too easily.